Historic

That’s a beautiful word and it brings a promise of a moment in my career that is going to be unforgettable.

BAMMA 22 Dublin sept 19th at the 3arena. Myself and three other lady’s have been given the opportunity to launch the female MMA division, now that’s something that has fuelled me up again.

It’s a chance to start over again, I went to Invicta Fc. I lost badly, people said it’s great you got on the show. For me that’s total crap as I feel I achieved nothing, except leaving my fans, my coach and Invicta down. Every fighter or athele will tell you and it’s true you don’t show up to make the numbers, you want to win. Even if I didn’t win but gave a Fifteen minute war and lost then I’d be sort of ok with it. (Probably not 😝)

I feel that I’m starting all over again, that I lost my undefeated streak and as Joseph Duffy told me a month ago, that when he lost the pressure was off. He said it made him enjoy fighting and training again. He saw more things around him that made his life special.

He’s a wonderful and very humble fighter, can’t wait to see him fighting soon in Dublin for the UFC.

I’ve found over the last few weeks I’ve felt and seen what he was talking about. I’m enjoying training more, seeing the support from family and friends over the last month has been heart infusing.

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The minute I left the cage of Invicta I was thinking the only way I can fix this for myself and the incredible supporters all over the world, especially my Irish fans is get back and BAMMA 22 is the arena for my return. Make no mistake this is not an easy fight to give me a win. I’d never ever want that because I’m just fooling myself.

Simona has been on my radar for years and we were supposed to fight many years ago on my second pro fight but I had to have hip surgery. Over the years we crossed paths but never got the fight done, I’ve always wanted to fight her and believe her to be one of the best in the 105 division. This means that on BAMMA for me it is going to be a fight that will match the hype. I’m working harder than I ever did and I’m pretty sure she is.

As many have said you learn from a loss, well no fighter ever wants to lose but actually now I get to see if I can comeback and capture the right to call myself again The Alpha Female. Hey if Rocky can do it then I’ve got a underdogs shot! My days spent with my Dad watching those wonderful movies. Good memories that will keep me strong.

One last thing Invicta was a risk in every way, especially financially and it didn’t work out. I lost money and they do pay well just the cost of getting a license to fight in Nevada basically left me very little, when I came back that helped pay the rent. Again I never was in the fight game for money but it would be nice at some point to afford a holiday. Haven’t had one in six years because I wanted to give everything to my career. Alpha Force if you could donate, buy a t-shirt, a signed pic or even better come watch me fight on BAMMA 22. You can get the tickets off me through http://www.catherinecostigan.com
Thank you again to all that helped me out and continue to support me.
Forever grateful.

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Valour can never be beaten

Well I’ve been having it good, surfing down winners highway but slam here comes the wave. It’s a big one and nothing I can do but try and find a way to the top again.

I’m writing this blog as I fly home to Ireland with a very heavy heart. Damn… What happened ?

This fight week in Vegas has been an education in how and what is required when you fight on the Worlds Stage for Invicta FC.

I was pretty sure I’d be returning a winner because if I didn’t believe I could win what was the point in even showing up.

I spent all week between cutting weight and doing media while living pretty much in an hotel room. Keeping it all in toe and staying strong in my mind. My friend Veronica helped so very much with that, she kept me smiling.

Dermot kept my thoughts on the plan. I spent the night after weight ins staying up and watching all my recordings on training strategies for the fight. Meeting Dermot on fight morning and watching more. I was focused and I knew how much was on the line in this. My debut would be ace! Nope! It wasn’t and all the work we put in vanished in seconds out of my hands.

The cut was excellent to the point that first time ever I was eating an apple and drinking a little water the day of weigh-ins. That never happens! Giulliano had done a great job and again a great mind advantage for the fight.
Warm up was great with Dermot and Ryan Shultz, not one bit hard. I felt so sharp and fast.
I noticed how as I warmed up other fighters returned carrying either smiles or tears. That reminded me again of what a dangerous costly game we play of emotion.

Keeping my mind strong still, my music hits, the Invicta Banner lights up my entrance and I’m ready to do what I said I would. Stepping closer to the truth of the moment and never once running from it.

Mind and my heart hearing the cheers of the crowd. I wanting to give them everything and it didn’t happen. I owe so much to the people of Ireland and my family but especially Dermot who put just as much into this for the last 18 years.

The fight is still a flash moment and always hard to explain to outsiders but it feels like you see things coming but it’s slow motion yet you can’t react fast enough to stop it.

Getting hit hard and smashed to the point were I know my face will not look good at the airport next morning never makes me give up. I try never to break to pain! I just know I’ll fix the moment but this I couldn’t.

Choke snapped in before I can stop it. Deep and what do I do? go out cold or try to keep my body from suffering any long time affect. I choose to fight another day and trust me it killed me to tap. Killed Me!!!!!

Truly that is something I’m never going to forget but I also must not let it control me as a fighter. Things will have to be let go off and I know many great fighters have had this same feeling. Serious, no one knows the mentality that’s needed to get to the moment of either a victory or defeat.

My only regret is I didn’t get to see my fans and friends who came after the fight or spend much time with my cousin after. I hadn’t seen him since my wedding. I don’t think he had a clue what was going on and it truly sucked to lose with him at it.

Thing is how much did I really lose? Has this stopped me in still wanting to go back to my gym to train and teach ? Hell No!

All the messages last night from parents showed me how much I need to teach my ninjas. I need to show them how being a fighter doesn’t always mean winning. A fighter has Valour to start with and to finish with always. No one can take that from you.
Yes I’ll have sad moments and probably tears because I’m still human and very much so this week. I’ll also stuff my face with comfort food. I’ve an Easter Egg kept with my name on it. 😊 Landed! Ok time to go pick up Oscar my little happy Paws.

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Weigh-in done with the pup

Undisputed

Undisputed, what a beautiful word and it’s what I want over the next year to be announced in the Cage.
What a crazy year I’ve had and when we got the news that my future with Cage Warriors and the dream of becoming their 105 champion was gone, it was sad. I wasn’t super upset for myself but mainly for the people who worked on CW. Those very cool people, especially Ian Dean and Graham had been always kind and fair to me. They gave me the platform to unleash my brand and to transform into the Alpha of my division.
Cage Warriors was the most professional show I’d ever worked on and the excitement and build up before I hit the bright lights in the Helix was the closest feeling to going to see Disneyland for the first time when I was a teenager. Damn I truly loved that feeling and hearing the crown get behind me. I’ll miss that!

I felt that finally all the work on the mats in my gym and all the traveling all over the World to fight was paying off. The crazy mentors and fighters I met over the years to sharpen my skills was worth it. The mad moments like racing to a train station in Italy and the taxi man outracing an ambulance to get me there on time. Me in the back half starving and thinking this is like being in a car chase and this taxi dude has no English!!! Such good times and I’d do anything to get a fight back then. I was always chasing the Dream of becoming the best in the World.
I thought with CW the belt would soon follow. Ian would call and say, yes, New Years Eve we crown you the first Atomweight Champion.
The call never came instead I got Christmas Dinner, and it wasn’t exactly the belt I wanted, it was a bigger one around my food belly. 😊 Still it was very nice to have Christmas.

Then soon after we found out my moment with Cage Warriors was done and we would need to find another path. I want something to be very clear and that is I owe CW forever. They believed in me and my Fight CV is very impressive now because of the opportunities Graham and Ian gave me.
It may seem cocky of me now ok I never won the belt with them but I destroyed every Atom in front of me and in an always impressive way. I believe I was The Undisputed Cage Warriors Atomweight.
Now people ask me especially in interviews if I am feeling cage rust because I’m out nearly a year and did I get depressed. Huh?
I first can’t afford to get depressed as I’ve to pay rent on my full time gym every month and c’mon I was out for nearly 3 years with my neck fusion and hip surgeries. I came back and fought in Norwich and didn’t feel anytime was missed. Mentally over the years I’ve learnt patience and also how to chase every chance you get. I’m a fighter and I keep myself to that routine in diet, training and attitude. I’m always ready to go when I get the call. Oh and guess what Shannon Knapp has just made the call. Invicta FC it’s time for the Alpha Female to shine.

2015/05/img_8122.jpg quick note on that belt I robbed from Jim Alers because I’m from Ireland and that’s what we do 😝

Life cuts the deepest.

I’m a fighter, I know how to take hard shots and take pain. I’ve spent years conditioning myself to it and mentally making my mind steel. What happens when something comes out of no where and attacks your heart. No warning, no training camp to prepare for it and not one coach to help you through it.
Tonight I’m writing this piece as I watch my beautiful dog Leila fight against cancer.

I met Moo( her nick name) a little over a year ago and my best friend Veronica allowed me to kinda adopt her over that time. Veronica took a while to trust me with her, as I am from Limerick!
She was a ball of energy and pure happiness. She had the cutest gremlin ears that always perked up when she heard the words “do you wanna go for a walk?
She chased rabbits and me as we hill sprinted together. She kept her brother Oscar out of trouble as he always started fights with cows, no idea where he got the aggressive streak from?

She helped me to understand again what pure love was as we would sit on a rock on the beach on my day off. She helped me recover my body and mind. She never wanted anything in return except a ball thrown or a digestive biscuit with a little tea. All were gladly given and received with a wag of the tail.

Over the last year I’ve learnt so very much about what exactly is important and as much as I desire a World Title belt. I can’t help but feel I’d give it up to have Leila better. No money can fix her or fill the void when she’s gone.

Tonight we took her to the beach that we spent so many happy times on and we watched her take a walk on it. Knowing it was the last time well the blow to my heart was harder than any shot in a fight. As the sun went down we held her tight and tried to give her a moment of Happiness with us.

I looked to the stars and picked the brightest one and attached my love for her to it. That every time I look up and find the brightest one, that it’s my moo taking care of myself and Veronica. Tomorrow life will cut its deepest but I promise Leila it will never take away my love for you. Shine bright because I’ll always look for you.

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Lucia Rijker

In Amsterdam one hour before I train with the greatest female boxer ever. I’m nervous but at this stage I’ve had many challenges that have made me ready to step into the ring with her.

I arrive and wait in the gym reception with my coach Dermot.
I’m allowed up to change, it’s coming close to my time, I dress and do something I always do before a big moment.

I look straight in the mirror and recognise the ability I have and that I will show no question of it. I’m good, no I’m damn good. Nothing to fear, confidence all the way. I leave that changing room like I’m stepping forward to a fight.

The gym she is using is beautiful, clean white mats and hanging bags, a ring perfectly placed by the windows. I approach her with the highest level of respect, she says hello in a soft level but her words as she talks are one of a very confident, commanding lady. Already I know this will be my toughest personal ever.

She listens to my fight story and as I’m running around warming up, Dermot shows her my recent fight. She says I’m a freak, in the best way of course!! Unless she means I enjoy beating people up.

She starts with some cool warm up drills, then the moment comes she asks me to shadow box for her, I’m feeling already her eyes analysing how I fire my punches.

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How my footwork anchors on each shot, I’m feeling the time coming when she will say we have a lot of work to do. She doesn’t say the words but I know it myself.

Don’t think she’s that impressed by my boxing and fair enough because as the personal continues and she shows me how to throw a strike, I clearly understand she’s world class.

We go to the ring and it’s movement time, she brings out these foam things, I’ve seen them on tv, very excited, looks fun.
I’m sure this will help with defence, happy to do it. She throws them like rockets attached to her hands, oh holy hell and the power.

I’m slipping the fastest ever as when they land it goes right threw my brain. I’m thinking she killed Hilary Swank in Million Dollar baby and I’m going to die. I already paid my money for this weeks ago, no reason for her to keep me alive!!!

We move on to the pads, this is where I’ll impress her, she is teaching how to land the knockout, it’s not just one shot land and goodnight. It’s the multiple shots before it, the fakes and faints that set up the KO! I’m beginning to understand as she commands the ring.

She has total KO power, a few times I’m not fast enough on returning my hand to my head and I pay for it dearly with a counter of a champion, when it landed it was the first time I’d ever trained with someone that at any moment could finish me. I did not ask for a break or water. Too scared. Lol. No she is amazing and I’ll want is to be worthy of her teaching.

After the first Hour I’m begining to get the combinations better, the sun is beating down on me, my body is still sore after the fight. She has me hitting the hardest I’ve ever done, my hands are getting the KO power and she saying beautiful, yes thats it. She is really fast and I’ve got to match it. Finally I’m understanding what power I hold within my body. The music we make on the pads is one of sweet violence! I got it!!

She says to me at the end as we finish up some very important words that I needed to hear to prepare me to accept my mistakes and listen to my feelings. It’s great to hear from Lucia, that at times she went through the same. Reassures me it’s not a big problem, just another thing to work out.

We as fighters may seem like Heros, made of steel but we all need to heal. I had the toughest fight of my career and I was having a hard time finding Catherine again. She helped me mentally that day, her words sunk deep and healed me. Those words alone and getting to shake her hand was worth every penny of my winnings I used to get me to her.

Lucia is a perfect example of a Alpha Female, she found and reached the summit but pushes for another moment to conquer. Even tho she is retired she is in super shape, never stops challenging herself, physically and mentally. She’s a kind, humble and beautiful person. Goodness shines from her. The way a World Champion should always be!

I hope to return and train with her again, if I could afford it I’d do a private everyday with her. She wrote something on a pic I had gotten for her to autograph. I was shocked as she wrote the words, I’m not worthy of them but soon I’ll become that because Lucia guided me and shows me how to be a Champion.

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My match from Cage Warriors 65

My full fight in high definition. Thank you Cage Warriors

Clarity after the moment

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It’s a few weeks now since I fought at Cage Warriors and I am trying to come back to being a normal person. It’s hard as I’m still getting flashes of the fight and also my face is a reminder of what I gave that night to achieve the victory.

I’m happy with certain parts of the fight but still feel disappointed as I know I can and must be better if I’m to prove to Cage Warriors that I deserve that shot at the title. I only ever want Graham to give me the chance if I prove I’m worthy to him and the crowd that witness my actions on the night.

People asked me why I didn’t give up in round two and its simple, my desire is too strong within me. It was only pain, and that I mastered years ago going through the neck fusion and coming back from it.

I did discover in the fight that no one can break me, only I can do that. If I don’t believe mentally, then it’s over.

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Ok what’s the next step, oh yeah, eat again and take my winnings and put them back into training, no big clothes shop for me, I’m off to Amsterdam to learn and achieve another level in technique and heart

One of the best fighters of all time is willing to train me for two hours, Lucia Rikjer a genius of the boxing ring and highly respected life coach. I’m returning to R- Grip gym to train again with my true friend and a class fighter Marloes Coonen.

Here I go bags packed and another dream to be fulfilled. What is life for but to chase your dreams to the very end. I enjoy the chase more than the end result.